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Co-Parenting Discussions You Need to Have During a Divorce

websitebuilder • Nov 20, 2018

Nobody is elated about facing a divorce, but sometimes it is the best for everyone involved. However, when you have kids, the pain and challenges can seem magnified. The path of communication between you and your ex needs to stay open and healthy for the kids. Consider these discussions on co-parenting you need to have with your ex during the divorce.

Take the Time to Compromise and Create a Parenting Plan

A parenting plan that you and your ex follow during and after the divorce is an important part of effective co-parenting after a split. The parenting plan includes a schedule of when kids will be with each parent. You and your ex need to discuss how tight you want the schedule to be. You will both be served by being considerate of difficult situations the other is in.

The parenting plan is likely also to include details of which parent is responsible for certain expenses. Be clear and detailed when figuring out those details. Even include details like who will be responsible for buying kids new clothes for school or who will pay doctor co-pays when your kids are sick. Be sure that any agreement is in writing and approved by your lawyer.

Talk About How to Keep All Grandparents Involved in the Kids' Lives

When parents divorce, sometimes grandparents wind up with an unwanted reduction in the time they spend with grandchildren they adore. It's an unfortunate reality of divorce for many families. Children should spend time with all their caring family members, so try to include all the grandparents in your kids' lives as much as feasible.

Bring up the topic with your ex early on. Then look for ways that you can prevent grandparents from missing time with your kids. That may mean you both need to compromise on time you have with kids on the weekends. In some situations, it may even make sense for kids to spend a weekend per month with grandparents.

As important as these family relationships are, protect yourself. Be sure to discuss the situation with your lawyer before agreeing to any changes in the time you get with your kids. If the grandparents ask you to agree to something, always take time to think about the request. Never agree to any custody changes without talking to your lawyer first.

Discuss Child Support in a Calm Manner

Child support can be one of the more angst-inducing topics in any divorce. However, as long as your lawyer approves of the discussion in your unique situation, discussing child support with your ex may lead to positive outcomes. Be sincere and calm. Assume the best and phrase the discussion in a way that gives your ex credit for wanting to provide for your children.

No matter how frustrated you are, never use visitation with your kids as a weapon. Don't try to withhold visitation from your co-parent. Even if your ex is behind on child support payments, the kids shouldn't have to suffer by missing time with the parent they love.

Never threaten that relationship unless you suspect that your ex may harm your children in any way. If that is the case, report your suspicions to the authorities and seek help to protect yourself and your kids. Otherwise, encourage your children to see your ex even if child support isn't up-to-date.

Finally, these are just three of many ongoing discussions you and your ex need to have. Having open, in-depth, difficult discussions in a respectful way can be the best thing for you, your ex, and your kids.

When in doubt, talk to a divorce lawyer before discussing any aspects of the divorce with your ex. Contact the caring, professional team at Hart Law Offices, P.C., for help with your divorce or other family law matters.

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